I SEE DEAD CREEPLE

This week’s revelation about the Whispers and the interaction between the dead and the living has really opened up some new possibilities for the story of LOST. Quite a few people online are theorizing about just who these spirits of the dead are serving: Jacob, the Man in Black, or themselves? I really like the idea that these ghosts have their own free will, and that different spirits may have appeared with different agendas. To be honest, I don’t think that LOST will ever provide a clear cut explanation/motivation behind every sighting of something ghostly; that would be downright boring and would eliminate much of the fun of interpretation.

One idea I find really fascinating is the ghosts trapped on the island are trying to find a way out, sort of like the Man in Black. Though they are not the same thing (MIB takes the physical form of those who have died and is essentially an imposter, whereas the ghosts on the island are incorporeal and can only interact with certain people), it does seem interesting that the black smoke almost always takes the visages of the dead, indicating a connection between himself and these spirits. Cerberus was the guardian of the underworld, after all . . . what if the monster is the warden for these souls trapped on the island? I don’t have much more of an advanced theory beyond that, and even that is pretty tentative. I’m also not really ready to say these spirits are allied with any force in particular; they may be an independent party, or have no collective goal at all.

I thought it would be fun to revisit our prior experiences with the visually manifested dead. Call it NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD SORT OF BUT NOT IN ALL CASES.

Here we go:

“Walkabout” – Jack briefly sees a man in a suit and white sneakers standing next to a tree, who later turns out to be Jack’s deceased father Christian. We think, maybe it’s a ghost? Jack thinks, “Wow, I need to get more fruit in my diet”.

“White Rabbit” – Jack’s fruit theory is questioned when he continues to see his father walking zombie-like through the jungle. Zombie Christian is emotionless, distant and uncommunicative . . . pretty much how Jack remembers normal Christian. But he does lead Jack to shelter and fresh water (and to the elder Shephard’s empty coffin, hmmmmm), which more or less saves a bunch of people’s lives. So there’s that.

“?” – On the island, Eko’s dead brother Yemi as well as the recently deceased Ana Lucia visit him in dreams. Yemi also visits Locke in a dream, because Locke was feeling left out that Eko was getting to have prophetic dreams and Locke wasn’t. In Eko’s flashback, young Charlotte Malkin drowns in a river only to come back to life on, y’know, the autopsy table. She tells Eko that she saw Yemi "between places," which is most likely referring to the transition between worlds and not some crappy 80's sitcom. The freaked out coroner retires to raise rabbits in the Outback and drink MacCutcheon by himself.

“Further Instructions” – Locke goes tripping in a sweat lodge (make that a sweet lodge) and winds up hangin’ with Mr. Boone, who makes him feel bad for that whole “sacrifice the island demanded” nonsense. They then go on a wacky hallucinogenic walk through the Sydney airport where Boone gets all bloody-like and tells Locke to rescue Eko from the mean scary polar bears. Locke resolves to lay off the drugs.

“The Cost of Living” – After listening to an Olivia Newton John mix tape, Ghost Yemi decides to get physical and burn down Eko’s tent. The already half-dead Eko then wanders on a vision quest through the jungle where he encounters various peeps from his past, including a rival bunch of gang dudes who he once Jason Voorheed with a machete. Yemi’s charred remains are missing, but then he steps out of the wilderness (noticeably non-charred) and tries to make Eko repent. When Eko refuses, Yemi turns into the smoke monster and has to choke a b*tch. Just kidding. He kills Eko. In a vision, Eko is spiritually reunited with the real Yemi. All without Roma Downey’s help, too.

“The Man Behind the Curtain” – Ben sees his dead mom on the island. Twice. Richard thinks it’s a big deal that Ben was able to see his dead mother since she did not die on the island but in the outside world. We’re like, “Whoa, what?” And the show’s all like, “We’ll address that. Later. Yeeeeeaaaah. Sure we will.”

The Missing Pieces: “So It Begins” – Right after the crash, Vincent encounters a very alive-looking Christian Shephard, who tells our intrepid retriever to awaken Jack. Vincent doesn’t seem that weirded out. Maybe because he’s a dog.

“The Beginning of the End” – In Jacob’s Terrifying Teleporting Nightmare Cabin But Surprise It’s Not Really Jacob’s, Hurley sees a dark figure in a rocking chair. Turning up the brightness on your standard def analog TV will reveal that it is in fact Jack’s dad sitting in the chair, still wearing those white sneakers. Then in Hurley’s flashforward, he’s visited by Charlie, and we learn that their friendship is pretty much the same even when one of them is dead.

“Meet Kevin Johnson” – Michael sees Libby in a dream. She’s dressed as a nurse, but it isn’t that type of dream so stop thinking that. He later sees Ghost Libby aboard the freighter. She tells him not to blow up the ship because it isn’t time yet, presumably because she’s dead and has advance access to the fourth season finale. Maybe someone should ask her how the show ends.

“Something Nice Back Home” – Claire barely survives a house explosion and gets all weird. Her dad, the ever-popular Christian Shephard, plays peek-a-boo with Aaron. This is good, as it’s always a tragedy when kids don’t get to know their zombie grandparents. During Jack’s flashforward, his ghost dad briefly tries to talk to him, but Jack remembers that was Bill Cosby’s low point and the connection is never made.

“Cabin Fever” – Locke pwns Eko again by having another prophetic ghost dream, this time with Horace Goodspeed, who proudly mentions having been dead for the last twelve years. Horace is apparently stuck in a Sisyphus-type deal, cutting down the same tree over and over. His afterlife sucks, basically. Meanwhile, back at Non-Jacob’s Cabin of Horrors, Christian tells Locke to move the island while the trial version of Scary Claire looks on.

“There’s No Place Like Home” – Christian, who’s really making the rounds by this point in the story, teleports onto the freighter to inform Michael that he’s been let go. Michael blows up. Literally. In the future, Hurley plays chess with Mr. Eko, though we never see him because it proved impossible for Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje to grace the set with his beautiful, shiny chest ever again.

“The Lie” – In a truly awesome and hilarious dream sequence, Ana Lucia appears to Hurley to offer some much-needed guidance. See, Adewale? Even Michelle Rodriguez put in a cameo.

“This Place Is Death” – Mr. Hey-I’m-Dead-And-I-Still-Get-More-Screen-Time-Than-Jin Christian shows up and won’t help Locke to his feet, tells Locke he has to die, makes him walk with a broken leg and turn a giant wheel which teleports Locke to the middle of nowhere in the alternating blazing/freezing desert of Tunisia. So Locke, of course, assumes Christian must be his friend! Yeah, and Frodo’s your BFF, Gollum.

“The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham” – Locke is strangled to death by Ben, only to suddenly be hanging out on Hydra island after the crash of Ajira 316, standing in the ocean, eating delicious mangos (maybe Jack’s fruit theory holds water, after all), and generally scaring everybody despite his attempts to be friendly. We, the easily led audience, assume Locke must have come back to life. It turns out that we is a bunch of suckers.

“Namaste” – Sun and Frank hear the monster, and then find abandoned haunted former Otherville, and then hear the Whispers, and then creepy Christian appears, and yet they find it within themselves to trust him for some reason despite the obvious Guys, You’re Clearly In A Horror Movie set up. Some people never learn.

“Dead is Dead” – Ben falls into a forgotten temple of doom in order to be judged by the smoke monster, who promptly morphs into the dearly departed Alex, who proceeds to celebrate this reunion with her adoptive father by ringing his neck and threatening to kill him if he doesn’t follow Locke’s every word. In retrospect, the Man in Black is a pretty b.a. con artist.

“The Incident” – Ilana and her gang bring their shiny metal box to Richard, revealing Locke’s body inside. I know, I know. Double-u tee eff. This explains why the monster cleverly hid Christian, Yemi and Alex’s corpses, but probably couldn’t get to Hydra island to add Locke’s body to the secret corpse stash because the poor wittew monster is stuck on the big scawy iswand.

“LA X” – Hurley and Jacob resume their conversations, despite the fact that Jacob was stabbed to death and set on fire a short while before. This doesn’t detract from his appeal. Meanwhile, Sayid is dying of a gunshot wound, so the Others think it would be a good idea to try and make him feel better by drowning him in dirty water. Sayid comes back to life two hours later, not quite himself anymore and needing a stiff drink.

“Lighthouse” – Ghost Jacob continues to offer cryptic advice to Hurley, who winds up making Dogen want to cut his head off because Dogen is really Zatoichi and has a sword made by Hattori Hanzo, even though Hanzo swore a blood oath to never make another instrument of death (and is himself a Japanese relative of Magnus, Alvar and Tovard). Jacob guides Hugo and (by association) Jack across the island, directing their paths to a dark tower with magical mirrors. Um, can anybody say “rad”?

“Ab Aeterno” – Richard’s wife Isabella dies in yet another flashback that reveals how much these people’s lives truly suck. He sees her briefly on the Black Rock in a vision heavily implied to have been the work of the Man in Black, who gets his manipulation on h-core. 140 years later, Ghost Isabella sends a message to her husband through Hurley, having gotten the idea from that Patrick Swayze movie, the name of which escapes me.

“Everybody Loves Hugo” – Ghost Michael reaches out to Hurley in an attempt to make up for the whole murdering Ana Lucia and Libby thing. Hurley’s down with it by this point. Michael finally explains what the Whispers are, and a bunch of people get mad and swear they’ll stop watching LOST . . . until the following week, when they will get mad and swear to stop watching LOST.

I debated whether or not to include “Dave” but ultimately decided against it, fantastic episode though it may be. There’s actually no reason to assume that Hurley’s imaginary friend Dave is anything but just that, a character created by his mind to embody his self-effacing guilt, addiction to food, and latent daddy problems (the writers even admitted they named Hurley’s father David as a Freudian connection to Dave). However, in light of the most recent episode, it’s hard not to think of Dave as a mischievous spirit, especially since there is little difference between his interaction with Hurley and some of Hurley’s ghostly encounters. This week’s episode also reestablished Hurley’s connection to Libby and Libby’s overall importance in the story, and weirdly enough we learned four seasons ago that Libby’s deceased husband (her grief following his death being the reason she was in Santa Rosa the first time around) was named David, as well. In the past Damon and Carlton denied a connection between Libby’s David and Hurley’s Dave, but you have to wonder. So, let’s consider that “Dave” may wind up on this list when all is said and done.